While I was in one of my support groups today I found this poem and it made me cry. It was like someone was inside my head and explaining in words exactly how I feel. Some of the things mentioned, I didn't even connect that they are illness related which made me cry even more knowing it's not just me being me, there is an actual reason for it. I have included the poem, I hope it give you a little insight into my life right now :)
Lost My Way
If you listen, I am here. We are the same in so many ways
Please listen closely as I speak at times, I cannot make my mouth produce the right words, yet they are there. Be patient with me.
Do not assume that today I can conquer it all, just because I slept all night through
Walk a little slower because like a child, I lose my footing too
Smile; do not feel that because I hurt that we all have to walk around in a state of gloom
Forgive, that I forget as I am not sure why, I always have the best intentions, I do.
Try to understand that no, I have not become cynical. I have temporarily lost my way.
Hold out your arms and be strong I need a rock, but I also can be yours in a different way.
Pain can change day to day, minute to second. I am not complaining I need to voice it
Inside it is still me. I am still fun, I just need to get strong.
Understand that one day, I WILL be the real me again. Right now I am just trying to get back on the trail but I have learned so much from the detour
By Devin Kalisz
If you listen, I am here. We are the same in so many ways
Please listen closely as I speak at times, I cannot make my mouth produce the right words, yet they are there. Be patient with me.
Do not assume that today I can conquer it all, just because I slept all night through
Walk a little slower because like a child, I lose my footing too
Smile; do not feel that because I hurt that we all have to walk around in a state of gloom
Forgive, that I forget as I am not sure why, I always have the best intentions, I do.
Try to understand that no, I have not become cynical. I have temporarily lost my way.
Hold out your arms and be strong I need a rock, but I also can be yours in a different way.
Pain can change day to day, minute to second. I am not complaining I need to voice it
Inside it is still me. I am still fun, I just need to get strong.
Understand that one day, I WILL be the real me again. Right now I am just trying to get back on the trail but I have learned so much from the detour
By Devin Kalisz
2 comments:
I haven't delved into your archives yet, so I had to conferr with Professor Google as to what BIH/Chiari is.
Gosh, almost daily I am finding strong & inspiring women Bloggers like you who are raising a family & doing all the daily things that I find tough, & dealing with so much of their own stuff as well (& still seem to hold their crap together better than me, I might add!).
AAWW, thanks :) You know, I think the same thing! I read so many other blogs and can't imagine living their lives when I struggle with my own so often but at the same time you just do what you have to do, if I don't keep putting one foot in front of the other I will never get anywhere so I just keep pushing!
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